My life changed dramatically the day my youngest daughter Shelley took her own life. 7th December 2015. The date is scorched into my brain. I am now 2 years down the track from that awful, soul destroying day. But I couldn’t have done it without some help. The amazing people from StandBy came to visit my family & I in the very early days. Our minds were muddled and confused. What to do first? Where to turn? The beautiful ladies arrived armed with Teddy Bears, comfort and knowledge. They guided us through each step with compassion and understanding. They knew our hurt and helped us progress through the next couple of weeks. They suggested we attend a monthly support group that was close to our home.

As I’m sure you can imagine. None of us were feeling remotely social. But let me tell you now. We walked around the corner of the building, to find 20 pairs of eyes looking at us. Kind eyes. Sad eyes. Knowledgeable eyes. This amazing group of people knew just how I felt without me even speaking. I cried for the first year at each meeting. But I have learned so many coping tools through listening to others stories. I have gained strength from the compassion given to me by other people with the same experiences. And I can proudly say, that 2 years on. I too can now offer a shoulder to lean on. An ear to listen with. Arms to give hugs with and experiences to learn from. I am now part of that group with their kind, sad & all knowing eyes. They saved my sanity when I thought I would never ever gain clarity in my thoughts again.

On the cloudiest of days in our lives there is always a silver lining. Trust me.

After the deaths by suicide of our youngest daughter Angela and our only son Stuart just one month apart I was understandably devastated. If felt that I was the only mother to have lost two children to suicide and spent countless hours questioning where we had gone wrong. I knew that if I had to live through this experience, I would need to learn from it. I spent many sessions in counselling and put in hours of very hard work making some sense of our tragedy.

After a few years, I realized that others could learn from my experience too. I began to advocate for others, and spoke at forums and information sessions about suicide prevention.

I find this work very rewarding and see it as a way to honour both Angela and Stuart.

It is important to keep things a normal as possible for children, particularly routines and expectations. Children need predictability and boundaries. These should be adhered to as much as possible to create a secure environment within the uncertainty and chaos.